Awhile ago I wrote a post about a period of dryness is my life.
It didn't really go away that quickly. I was plunged back into it and I wasn't doing that well for awhile.
I felt really unstable and unsafe and I often wondered if I would ever feel brave again. I wondered if the parched feeling in my heart and the deepest depths of me would ever feel satiated again.
I begged and pleaded to God, I shut down and tried to shut him out. I shut out people around me that were just trying to love me and I struggled against the dryness trying desperately to hold on to hope.
Because I've been through them before. Regardless of the specifics of the beginning, setting aside the different people involved I've been dry, so dry, many times before. When I step back and look at the overarching pattern of it I see that at the end of the dryness is a period of total renewal. A spring after a long and cold winter.
I emerge from the periods of dryness stripped of all that would burden me, stripped of all that had distracted me and I stand naked (sorry) and vulnerable on the cusp of what ends up becoming a time of confirmation, growth, refining and development in my life. Through leadership, serving, the friendships and relationships that remain and most especially by God I am rebuilt, reinforced, stretched and grown so much more then if I had been dragging the baggage stripped off of me in the desert.
My heart is so full tonight. After two nights in a row dreaming and talking about Washington Project and the leaders stepping down and up it has just been confirmed over and over again that the right decisions are being made. While God was pressing one to step down he was preparing others to step up. While God was burdening my heart to pull back with my 'do it all myself' leadership style he was emboldening people to step out on the limbs and joyfully share how God was burdening their hearts to step up and lead in whatever capacity was needed.
Hearing their hearts on leadership and serving and knowing God has placed them all here for a time such as this has been humbling and amazing. I just can't even begin to express my gratitude for these leaders and the way their stepping up is confirming a deep heart groan of mine and is working as cool water quenching the thirst I've been begging God to relieve.
This girl couldn't be more thankful.