That is so gay

I don't hate a lot of things. But I HATE it when people say something is so gay. HATE.IT

There have recently been a rash of PSA's going around about saying that's so gay, and I was in a room with someone the first time they saw it. Their response? That is so gay!
Here is one example:



I HATE it. Please don't do it around me, I HATE it.
Have you got the picture yet?
I would like to say that I'm not trying to get all preachy on you but I don't really care if I am. A pastor at a church that I follow through multiple staff members blogs and twitters (tweets?) posted a tweet the other day that said he was considering unfollowing someone because their avatar was so gay. I clicked on the link and it was a picture of a pair of socks. Socks. Last time I understood the definition of gay it did not include a pair of socks.
I immediately unfollowed that pastor because seriously?
I mean I understand that he was joking, I understand that a lot of the people that say "that's so gay" are joking and not thinking about what they say and what it means, how it impacts people around them. I understand that those sentiments are true of words and phrases other than "that's so gay".
But stop. Just stop.

I talked to a friend the other day about Pete Gall's book My Beautiful Idol and a particular section of the book that touched me deeply. I wrote about it here. It was about a worship leader at a church in Colorado that was struggling with being a gay man. When I got done talking to her about it she said that was one of the first times she'd heard of a gay person being in a church, let alone participating in one. Which made me really sad. She said it made her sad too that she didn't hear about it more.
Sometimes, it seems like all believers want to do is define sin. Is it important to define sin? Absolutely. But I have not been briefed at the door of any church about my gluttony, my hypocrisy, my pre-marital heterosexual activity. Yet we feel the need to define for someone that probably already feels lost, alone, and quite possibly shamed by their own family that they are sinners. That phrase also can imply that we then are not. Because WE'RE allowed, in all of our heterosexual sin to participate and find a home church. Because we only are tempted by members of the opposite sex we're allowed to be in the club.
But we better make clear to the man that loves other men and the woman that loves other women that they are less than and dirty.

So for me, when this pastor posted so flippantly about someones "gay avatar" and that avatar was socks I was so deeply offended. I gasped.
I try not to be offended to much but this deeply offended me. I know that to some of you I might be overreacting but I just don't care.
Pastors especially are rejoicing in the souls that are touched through their ministry, the volunteers whose lives are changed and how deep of an impact they are making with those that they serve. Yet so flippantly we throw out the phrase "that is so gay" as if it isn't deeply offensive to many people gay and straight.
As if somehow they are the one people group that don't deserve a place to come where they can belong before they believe or behave. As if they are the one people group that don't deserve to have an unabashed love affair with the one that created them and loves them exactly how they are, that desperately longs for his children to be reconciled to him through Jesus.

Could I be taking it to far? Probably. I'm not even trying to get into the "is being gay a sin" issue. I don't really care to get into that, that is better debated and blogged about by other people more studied than I am. All I know is that one little phrase, tweeted so randomly and thoughtlessly is online now and that little tweet is speaking for a church that is doing so much good in the world.
It's admirable to serve tangibly in large and small ways, to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, start schools and hospitals overseas and to bring together a community. But everything we do, not just the things we do in public, during corporate church activities is either inviting people to Jesus or driving them away. Every word that we speak and action we take. Myself included.
I just had to get that off my chest.


Posts that may only be slightly related:
I'm so Offended
My Bow isn't Pink
I get the feeling I'm not supposed to talk about this