Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy:
1: a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
2: a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.

I had to come home and look up hypocrisy the other night to see if my picture was next to it. (It wasn't....yet)
I worked at the bookstore Friday night, and while I enjoy 98% of the people that I speak to at the store there is that pesky 2%. Last night driving home I was just thinking about what a hypocrite this woman was, how she was just so mean, snarky, condemning and worst of all, that she fell into this ridiculous sect of Christianity that truly believed the only 2 issues God truly cares about is homosexuality and abortion. Oh I was switching my bracelet back and forth and back and forth on the drive home last night. But I was just so taken aback by the force with which this woman came at me.
She was upset because she didn't get the coupons to the store. She literally stepped back from the counter and started preaching to the few remaining guests in the store (seeing as we had closed 10 minutes earlier) about how if this store wasn't going to appreciate her money then she was going to *insert competing chain store name here*. Her money was just as good as anyone elses money and we darn better well recognize that.
Considering it was after 9pm on a Friday there was honestly very little that I could do. So I apologized, tell the woman that there isn't anything I can do tonight, but that I will take her information and have the manager call on Monday. "SEE! SEE! THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!" she shouts in my face. "They don't care, they just want me to stop bothering them! This is why if I don't get some coupons soon I'm no longer going to shop here!" I decide to just ignore her, so I tell her the total is $50.03. "I mean this is what I"m talking about! I never spend any less then $50 and you act like my money isn't good enough"
Ok, my blood was pumping I was so annoyed and pissed at this woman. I hypocritically think, way to show the freakin love of Jesus lady.
She and her entourage were getting ready to leave and she was still passive aggressively muttering about how shady it was that we were intentionally withholding coupons from her when she spotted them, the cards that would save all the unborn children in the US and world that were being aborted.
After I checked out the "last" customer (the one that caught the door as I was letting someone out after we were closed and she walked in) this deeply offended woman walked back up to the counter shaking and almost in tears. "Have you seen these cards? They're beautiful. Don't you think so?" Yes, I replied halfheartedly, I just wanted this woman to leave before I started asking her if she had read something about kindness in that bible of hers. (as I switched my bracelet while standing there). "I just, they're just, it's just" she stammered. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, convicted of my inward seething towards this woman, she was so moved.
"I mean, it's nothing against any one person, but I just am so scared for the future of this country because of the party that's been elected into the White House. All those babies, they're just all going to be murdered now. But these cards, they're just perfect, they're perfect to show people that they shouldn't kill babies."

Ugh.

I mean, please don't misunderstand me. I am not now and never will I really share with you my thoughts and feelings on abortion because frankly I do not have the energy to get into it. I also won't really share my feelings on the whole election drama that's been unfolding or who I ended up voting for. Because at best, my patriotic position is apathetic, at worst it's outright ungrateful and hateful. But let me tell you this:

Just because I work in a christian retail store, just because I smile and am patient and kind does not mean that I agree with you on the best way to approach broken and damaged people, broken and damaged people being all of us of course. Just because I pull the purple shirt over my head and remain silent when you tell me that God is somehow paralyzed because a *gasp* democrat has been elected president does not mean that I agree.
GOD.IS.GOD.
He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants. Because he's God. I thank God that he is God and not any of us, and certainly not I. Because the grace that he extends is so much deeper and wider then the grace I have been able to muster up to date for this woman, and certainly more grace than this woman was able to muster up for me.
I don't know much, but I know that Jesus wasn't a white middle class republican. I know that he forgave irrationally and completely. I know that instead of telling a woman that had an abortion what a ridiculous mistake she made and how guilty she was of murder he would have sat with her and told her about the redemptive and everlasting love of a God that pursued her. I know that it's true that God cares for people that have abortions, he cares for the babies that are aborted, he cares for those who are gay. But I know that God is so much bigger then the pigeonhole that we try to force him into with our rhetoric and hate speech. God loves the poor, the hungry, the naked, the forgotten, the widows, the orphans.
God.Loves.

God loves. So those of us that love him, that preach his name, shouldn't we love too? I get that love doesn't mean always getting along, I know it means conflict and standing firm in our beliefs. But I will say again, telling someone they are a disgusting sinner does not woo them into the arms of Jesus. Should we even be focusing on them and their brokenness anyway? Shouldn't the focus be, shouldn't what we tell them be about this redemptive, powerful, loving God that pursues us, that writes us love letters on the lips of kindness, generosity, and grace? Shouldn't we tell them about the God that loves us so much he sent his son (Jesus) to die for us, so that we might one day live?
I was graceful and kind to this woman at the store, but in my car the bracelet was flying between wrists as I unleashed my sinful nature, my ugliness, and my hypocrisy.