Five Minutes: I think I'm paranoid

Some of the blogs I stalk read do this and I like it a lot. I needed a quick quick quick post for today so here you go. Five minutes of Bethany's Free Association....

Sometimes at night when I'm driving I notice that a car is following me to long. I see that it's the same car by the shape of the headlights of the outline of the drivers head (yes, I notice the shadowy shapes of the drivers heads behind me just in case I have to testify later in court).
If they follow me to long I get very worried they are stalking me, waiting for me to get home so they can break in later and murder me.

So I ditch em.


I will take evasive action and I will swerve in and out of neighborhoods and parking lots until they aren't behind me anymore.
The scariest nights are the ones when I weave in and out of neighborhoods and it's several turns and they're still behind me. I hold my breath and almost start to cry I'm so afraid. But then they turn into their house and the garage door opens and I can exhale.

My therapist said one of my symptoms is that I'm constantly on high alert to anything that could go wrong or anything threatening. I'm not sure there was ever a more true statement in my life. She also said I have a hard time calming down.
On the nights I have to take evasive maneuvers coming home I usually will stand at the window or the door for several minutes, once as long as 30 minutes and watch for that car to come by, just in case they were evading my evasive maneuvers.

At my house I have a big front window and sliding glass back door. Usually I open the back door curtains and stand at the front door nervously glancing back at the back door until I feel calm again because they might have parked on the side street to break into the back door.

There you go, a creepy little glimpse into my paranoia for your Friday. Hope you're all having a great day!

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