My parents used to get frustrated with me because I would know and quote or sing along to all these songs but I couldn't figure out how to memorize the information I needed for my history exam.
I've had a million favorite songs throughout the years. I've held multiple favorites at the same time. I've learned when I can listen to certain types of music because sad music on a sad day is not a good combination for me. I can't listen to Limp Bizkit and NIN hardly anymore because I've have a history of being a sad angry girl and those songs just encourage me along the path of being filled with killing rage.
So I'm trying to forget the words to the songs I don't need to sing anymore. I don't need to be so angry because I'm leaving the things and people I've fought to intensely with behind. I don't need to be the sad girl because I look around and see so much joy in my life.
But it's hard. This forgetting of my favorite song lyrics.
Because they come into my head like old friends dropping in for a visit. Reminiscing and sighing over how we've all changed but are still exactly the same.
But even more so, I'm finding that you are like the words to my favorite song. I sang it every moment of every day for so damn long. I can conjure it up to keep me warm and I linger on the memories of way back when.
Then one day, I stumble over a line or two. Another day the chorus comes to me a little bit harder, it takes me a little longer to remember how to hum the tune of you and me.
It's taking a lot of work. It's taking a lot of new songs and a lot of time intentionally not singing the song of loving you, but I'm learning to forget the words to my favorite song and see the beauty in these new lyrics.
It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can't believe it
You were always singing along
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can't remember
You try to move your feet
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can't remember, you try to feel the beat
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