8.30.2010

Closeted

So I had a thought today, I know...it's a rare occurrence.
I was thinking that it might be a "normal" thing for gay men to have relationships with women as part of their relationship history. (seeing as I am not a gay man it is just my thoughts and not based on any real life or fictional relationship that I know about. Also, in this story I am NOT the straight woman in question just to clarify)
Wouldn't then it be a normal occurrence for part of the serious relationship conversation that happens between 2 gay men to include references to their history with women? Not serious mention, just hey this happened sort of thing. From my very (very) brief survey of gay men I find that is probably pretty accurate and that it's no big deal, just part of their history.

Ok, tracking with me so far?

I would assume that most of the time when a straight girl (again I am a straight girl but not THIS straight girl) has a relationship with a man and part of their this is getting serious conversation reveals that the man has had relationships with men in their past it would probably be a deal breaker for a lot of women. Not ALL but a lot.

Now, I would also assume that it's a deal breaker for the straight girl because she might always be wondering if said man would decide to switch back to relationships with men or dabble on the side with men at some point in their future.
Do gay men wonder the same? I would guess not for many reasons not the least of which is societally based.

But why?

Also, lets change genders again and say a straight man and a straight girl are having the this is getting serious relationship conversation and she mentions that she's had relationships with women in the past. Chances are it would not be a deal breaker for the straight guy (well most straight guys I suppose seeing as I can't speak for straight men since I am not one....(Wow, there is a lot of information about my gender in this post...))

Just random things I was thinking about today.
Do you have any thoughts on this?

2 comments:

jake said...

Umm, this was a very confusing post. I feel slightly dizzy and in need of a flow chart...

For what it's worth, I think everyone should be honest about their sexual history with their partners, whether male or female, straight, gay or bi. Not to say they need to divulge absolutely everything and everyone by any means, and certainly not all the gory details.

If you have built up a level of trust with your partner, it "should" be mostly a non-issue. If you are entering into a mutually agreed upon monogamous relationship with someone, you both have to trust each other to stick with that commitment. Who you or they have had sex with in the past, or how, shouldn't have any bearing on that.

I don't know if that makes sense, but I think I'm at the point where I'm going to start being redundant, so I'll stop...

Katy said...

Wait... I'm confused, are you a straight girl or a non straight boy? Or maybe you are a straight non boy?

Here is interesting thing though... Ed's boyfriend and very jealous of women. Ed says its cause he can't compete with them. In fact, I've been told I can't comment on Ed's butt anymore (don't ask). Anyway, another interesting fact, my friend K used to date someone who was bi-sexual. It was hard for him because he felt like there was no way the other guy would truly be committed because at some point he would leave to have a family he couldn't have with K. Ok, so those facts might not have been interesting... but in my limited survey of gay men.. that's what I found.