Denial can also be experienced on more subtle levels when it comes to our hearts and emotions. Sometimes we can deny that someone’s actions and words have hurt us. We can deny that someone’s decisions have affected us greatly, and have created pain.
So how does denial play out?
When it comes to being wounded by another’s words or actions, we can blame ourselves first; we can let them off the hook without accountability for the wound. When we deny ourselves, we downplay the pain or make the offense our fault. For instance, if someone hurts me, I might say I deserved to be treated like that or spoken to in that way. I could also justify their actions by not communicating that they hurt me.
Another sign of denial is forgiving too quickly. If someone hurts me, I could say, “Oh I forgive you, that’s no problem,” and move right past the hurt. There are times where the offense may be forgiven quickly, but in other instances, the wound needs time to be felt and to heal. That is okay too. It is okay to tell people they hurt you. If you are hurt, that is valid whether or not someone else thinks it is. Your emotions are real.
- (via: Denial)