6.09.2011

Black and White Girl

I believe there is truth.
I have opinions and thoughts that I think are correct and true.

But when I share them, which hasn't happened a lot until recently, I try to say it with grace.
I try not to punch someone in the face with a truth rocket peppered with shame grenades.

I don't understand why people feel the need to belittle others with what they believe is the truth.

I'm not perfect at it.
But I'm trying.

I'm trying to be bolder in sharing the truth as I see it with people and being more open and strong in sharing my thoughts and opinions with others.

But then I also think a lot about what other people see as the truth.
Because there seems to be a lot of technicalities out there.
I confess I've been guilty of it before.

Technically I made 1 phone call so if I say, I called the people from my to do list it can sound like I called ALL of them and technically I'm not responsible for other peoples assumptions, even though I know exactly what they'll assume I'm saying.

It's been said to me many times that I'm hard on people in regards to the truth.
That I'm black and white and people are either liars or they tell the truth. They're either saints or sinners.
I know I am in a lot of things, but I still can't understand why people wonder why I'm concerned about their level of honesty and that the trust I have in them is shaky when they lie.

I try to see it from their point of view. I try to believe that they can compartmentalize and only lie about specific things, but no matter how I try it's very unsettling to me.

So I guess now I'm trying to learn how to be better at giving grace.
Because I believe in a redemptive God that showers us with grace, even me.

I'm trying to learn the nuances of adult relationships and realize that other people don't know some secret relational tricks that I don't. We're all just broken people bumping into other broken people trying to find our way.

I'm also learning that I can be a black and white girl at the exact same time as a gray girl.
It's one of the joys of being a study in contradiction.
Someone told me a lie
Someone looked me in the eye
And said time will ease your pain
But behold, when you fall
It's that same old cannonball
Coming back for your heart again
Cannonball -Brandi Carlile

1 comment:

Pete said...

Slightly off topic, on the last sentence I was taken back to watching the episode of Family Guy when Peter talks about how he loves when he hears the name of the movie, in the movie.

I totally snorted.