Bitter and Sweet

Who would have known, how bittersweet this would taste
This righting of wrongs
This standing up of things fallen down

Who could have known the decisions that would be made to survive would be the decisions killing so many years later

My mouth has been flooded with words unspoken for so long my lips have forgotten how to form the syllables
But I speak all the same

Haltingly

Embarrassed

Ashamed

Fearful

I speak out of the deep darkness that was consuming me and the fear that it was all true after all

I taste the salty tears on my lips as I part them to say to you that I need you to love me even when I reject any offering of love you try to give me

I bite down on the bitter and angry tongue that would often rather cut you to the quick then taste the disappointment of plans cancelled and hearts broken from abandonment

I kneel obediently

Waiting


Waiting


Waiting

I clasp my hands together

Repentantly

Patiently

Hopefully

I taste the bitter

Knowing the sweet will come