Ok, the rule is to type for five minutes and post whatever vomits out of my fingertips. May God be with you all.
I've been on a dress buying kick lately. Specifically maxi dresses. The jersey material that is usually long and flowy with an empire waist.
I even bought heels to go with the dresses (ok, so they're like stacked heely things...there's a specific work but I don't know it...I want to say ramp, but I know that's not right)
Then when I wear them I feel all pretty and girly and frilly. People compliment me and tell me I look cute...or they balk at the shock of seeing my legs.
I also have been on a clothes buying spree. Soft fabrics and layers of color, different necklines and even some fancy pants jewelry.
I've been wearing makeup (ok, foundation and mascara at least) every day and touching up with powder throughout the day.
But the truth is, I still feel mostly like a fraud.
People tell me I look pretty and I'm fairly certain they're just telling me that because they don't know what else to say.
I see myself in the mirror or my reflection in a mirror and I pause wondering what they saw that was even remotely beautiful.
But I also am recognizing the patterns and trying to push through them. Believing people despite my every instinct screaming that they are just being nice or that they are buttering me up for something they need or want.
Either way, I'm looking distinctly more feminine than I have in a long time.