1.03.2011

One Word: Help


I love me some Alece. Her blogs, while coming from a different place than mine, seem to cut right through all the rigmarole and find the place I needed to hear those words. Without even saying it she says, "Me Too", which sometimes makes all the difference. Last year she chose the word Risk as her one word. This year, she's doing One Word again and asking others to challenge themselves to pick a word too.

I decided after a tumultuous year of lots of chaotic events both physically and emotionally that this year I'm going to ask for help more.

I'm not good at it.
I hate doing it.

Even though I'm happy to help other people, even though it would never ever occur to me that they were taking advantage, lazy or inconveniencing me I feel that way when I ask for help.

I'm already quite nauseous about it.
I'm worried that I'll lose friends and relationships because I'm being to demanding.
I'm worried that no one will show up.
I'm worried about what I will be like after asking for help from doctors with various issues I'm determined to address this year.

Because one of the first ways I'm asking for help is to find a pay-a-friend to help me face some scars and get them healed and off of my heart for the last and final time.

There are some other big things I'm thinking about doing this year, and I'll need help doing them all I think. So I'm working on asking for help more and trusting people when they say they really want to help me.

(I briefly contemplated making my One Word trust, but...I just can't do that without help so help it is)

So if I ask you for help this year, please just know it was probably pretty hard for me to ask you so be kind.

4 comments:

jake said...

I find this idea intriguing... gonna have to give it some thought.

...As far as helping goes, you know I'm here for you however I can be!

James said...

Great idea, Beth!

Alece said...

i find myself holding my breath when i think of your word. i also struggle big time with asking for help. ("me too!") the vulnerability of it just about kills me sometimes. so does the part of me that is deathly afraid of being an inconvenience or a burden. and don't even get me started on how much i worry about what people say about me to others and how it could differ from what they say TO me. i digress...

help is a huge word. a monumental focus for this year. and i think it's going to radically change you from the inside out. wow...

(thank you also for your beautiful words... it felt like a hug for my heart.)

Shark Bait said...

I'm a man. We don't easily ask for help. (Or directions)

So I can relate to your idea. Good word.

SB<