Today I'm thankful for the struggle.
The struggle to remain in relationship to people, to remain in a community that requires more than my superficial presence.
I'm thankful for the people that insist I participate in life when all that is inside of me is screeching to withdraw and hide my heart away.
I'm thankful for a God that refuses to allow me to comfortably rest in unforgiveness and bitterness and for a community that creates a place I can share my heart regardless of how broken or gross is may get.
I'm thankful for a family that didn't go to a buffet for Thanksgiving (what? It's MY list)
I'm thankful for a family that is generous and kind.
I'm thankful for the tears that still fall which show me it's not over yet even though I want to pretend that it is. I'm thankful for songs, books, sermons and randoms snippets of conversations that strike deep truth into my heart right when I need to hear it, even when I don't want to hear it.
So today even though I am struggling to place my whole heart behind it I am thankful.
I am thankful.