Second Guessing

Five breaths
Ten seconds
One 2nd guess

I have no idea what the right thing is, I have no idea what to say even
I stare. Gaping open mouthed torn between wanting to vomit all that is on my heart out and zipping my lip to protect what little is left whole inside
I wait for people to tell me what the right thing is, but the best I can do is reject the wrong things hoping that eventually the right thing becomes clear.

No choice is still a choice I hear
Restless I pace
I sit
I lay down
I pace again

Pretty Woman and the beginning of Juno bringing the tears I had banished back to my eyes
Harry telling Ginny it will all be ok
I toss and turn
Dreaming of the answers I won't remember when I wake up