Just say no to crazy ladies that open bank accounts for you and ask you to just real quick run across town to buy their kids division cards.
I'm looking at YOU Peter James Mohring.
So Pete comes home from work last night and we're sitting on the sofas talking about drama llamas and how we deal with them and he tells me this little gem which I have considerately decided to pass on to all of you.
Pete goes to a local bank to open an account this morning. First, he couldn't figure out how to get in the doors because we have metal detectors down here in the big city to keep the robbers from stealing our money.
He walks in, sits down and the woman who he estimates to be in her mid to late 30s starts telling him all about her kids and their back to school shopping. He asked her to lay down on his portable therapy sofa that he carries around in his back pocket and told her to tell him how that made her feel.
Well it made her feel bad. Very very bad. See she needed division flash cards and she needed them bad.
After Pete told her where he worked, all part of the alleged new account paperwork she was filling out, and when he told her she freaked out.
"OH PETER!" she cried, "I saw the PERFECT division cards on their website. But," (here she put on her very best sad sad mommy face) "but they just don't carry them at the local stores which are still so very very far away and I couldn't possibly order them on the big bad scary internet because how will they arrive?! By MAGIC?!"
Suddenly, the bank was filled with a triumphant call to action. Pete sprung from his chair (knocking it over in his fervor) and stood hands on his hips and declared, "I! I will travel across the endless roads fighting the evil traffic lords and secure you division cards! AS GOD IS MY WITNESS your children shall learn to divide if it is the LAST THING I DO IN MY LIFE!"
"Oh Peter. Oh, your kindness will be described to the generations to come in my family whose ability to divide is a direct result of your kindness. Here. Here is $10. Please travel the long roads to your job and bring me back the division cards."
Pete sat as she finished his paperwork reveling in the wonder of showing kindness to strangers. He joked, "I promise to come back, but...if by chance I don't make it you can take your $10 back out of my account."
Horrified the woman recoiled. "NO! NO! Peter I would NEVER EVER DO THAT!"
**This has been a dramatic reenactment of an actual event that occurred in the life of Peter James Mohring, all around nice guy. No names have been changed to protect the innocent, but details may have been embellished.