When someone around me is hurting I want them to feel better.
I seem to have this idea that I can love them till they don't hurt anymore.
That idea is killing me.
It's not my place to keep people from hurting, it's my place to love them even when they're hurting.
I'm not supposed to fix it I'm supposed to sit beside them and love them.
I clean, I cook, I give advice I pull out of my ass that somehow still seems to make sense.
Sometimes that helps. Sometimes it doesn't.
When it does I soar, I feel amazing about helping.
When it doesn't I sour. I am dejected and disappointed in myself. How could I be so useless.
I just want things to be better. I want the tension to be gone I want the relationships restored and fences mended.
But it's not my place. It's not my responsibility.
So until you don't hurt anymore and beyond I will love you but I can't fix you.
I can't fix it.