2.21.2010

In the Still of the Night

I had some crazy dreams last night.
I woke up over and over again from dreams so vivid I logged onto my email at 330am to double check to make sure they weren't real.

Several people that I admire deeply and whose opinions I put a lot of stock in and hold close to my heart had conversations with me in my dreams. They weren't hostile, they weren't screaming at me. They were all quiet meetings, brief phone calls, and several emails all detailing the list of things that I suck at.
Stupid, incompetent, loser. On and on they went.
I woke up at one point and logged on to check my email; to see if I really had sent the email they said I did. I had not, obviously.
I crawled back into bed and reluctantly fell back to sleep only to be harangued by another person that I admire, respect and love.

It was an awful night. I gave up about 6am and just got up and did some laundry.
I'm a little afraid to go back to sleep tonight.

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