Braver

Had I been braver I would have just cried
I would have dropped my shoulders, I would have unclenched my fists
I would have just cried
Had I been braver I would have lain down my sword
I would have stopped stabbing you with words flung with flames from my mouth
Had I only been braver

Were I braver I would find some sort of middle ground between apathetic complacency and completely falling apart overwhelmed
Were I braver I would dive into the words that heal, the words that lift instead of diving into a bottomless pit of self loathing and despair
Were I braver I would reach out for you, for your shoulders to lean on and your hands to help me up instead of reaching for another cookie, chip, brownie, swiss cake roll.
Were I only braver

Brave is really hard. It's what makes it so brave.