Stinky Feet

This past Monday I had a Life Group meeting at Uno's. I was planning to go to the gym for some cardio before, but the lovely and extra careful drivers of Cincinnati decided to all drive slowly so I didn't have enough time.
Ok, I might have had enough time...but just barely and not really worth me changing my clothes twice and getting all sweaty before our meeting.

But I still had about 30-45 minutes to kill. So I went to Barnes & Noble because I need a new day timer for 2010 and let's face it, I love Barnes & Noble.
I couldn't find a day timer but I found Pioneer Womans cook book and the new Post Secret book so I was planning on settling down in a comfy chair and flipping through them.
Earlier as I was looking for the day timer I walked past this gentleman who looked about 50ish. As I walked past my eyes slid over the chair he was sitting in and noticed that he craned his head a little and looked back at me a little funny.

By the time I'd grabbed my books there were no other chairs to sit in (of course) other than the chair right beside him. I figured I just misinterpreted his look and slouched over there to sit. As soon as I sat, the stench over took me. Stinky feet had his shoes off and they STUNK. But I didn't want to be rude so I settled in and occasionally looked the opposite direction and inhaled deeply.
I started flipping through the books and started feeling a little eeky. So I glanced up at Stinky feet and he shifted his gaze just slightly above my head. He was apparently looking at me. :shudder: This happened about 3 or 4 more times.

Stinky feet was also fidgety, sitting on first one foot and then the other. I was about done with my books, and it was almost time to go to Uno's when I saw him shifting again, but it was different.
So I tucked my chin down and looked up with just my eyes to see him staring at me while stretching his stinky foot towards me and then he wiggled his toes as if to say hello.

I got up and left. I figured sitting at Uno's a few minutes before group had to be less awkward than that.


Pete said...

I must say that has to be the most awkward situation I've ever heard of. While it may not always be comfortable, it does bring some entertainment to the rest of us. ;)

jake - aka the comment novelist said...

Sitcom. Seriously. You can't make this shit up!