Can't See

Late last week I baby sat for my nieces and nephew whilst my sister was at choir practice. Matthew had had a really rough day and as a result was writing lines and then was to go straight to bed.
After many tears, whining and outright begging to not have to go to bed I had him snuggled into his bed. We talked about his behavior that day and why he shouldn't hit his classmates. He said that he couldn't help himself and he didn't know why he did it.

I told him to think about that guy they talk to him about in church, Jesus. That Jesus just like his mommy, daddy and Aunt Bethany love him no matter what, and that we want him to not hurt other people by hitting them. Matthew started crying because he didn't know what Jesus looked like so he couldn't see him in his brain. I pulled out his sisters story bible and started going through the pictures with him reading him a story. After answering his questions about "What would happen if the earth ran out of oxygen and there were no more air tanks" I turned off the light and tried to go back downstairs.
A few minutes later I was summoned by his yelling "Aunt Bethany Aunt Bethany!"
Back upstairs I trudged. "What?!" I asked him a little more forcefully than I ought.
He put on his best scared face and summoned crocodile tears to his eyes, "Aunt Bethany, I can't see Jesus anymore there are to many toys in my head."
After calming him down I was released to sit at the top of the stairs making sure the shadow monsters don't get back in his room.
Sitting there I started thinking about our conversation and thought, "Me too buddy. Me too."

On my way home that night I thought about all the toys I let fill up my brain to the point where I can't even see Jesus anymore. Frivolous toys like TV shows, books, music, relationships that don't honor God. Less noticeable toys like gossip, jealousy, anger, lust. How they fill up my brain and I forget what Grace through Jesus Christ looks like. Simple, amazing, unearned Grace.

A pauper to God's scandalous grace, all I know to do with the overflow is serve. -Beth Moore

Posts that may only be slightly related:
The Thud of Grace
Kirsten, Shelby, Matthew


Pete said...


Bravo, Bravo!!

jake - aka the comment novelist said...

I didn't realize until I got to the end, but I was actually breathless while reading this. Not out of shock or fright or suspense. You just moved me to the point of extreme focus. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You have got a gift.