I had a dream

I had a dream last night. It's left me pretty unsettled this morning and scrambling to take control and try to work things out on my own. Which would be the exact opposite of the end result of the dream.

But I was at a party and not behaving. The party was outside on a suburban street with a random bridge over it. I was incredibly intoxicated, smoking, shouting insults, making out with random fellas and all sorts of debauchery. (Not to say that drinking and smoking are sins, but the effect they were having in the dream certainly led to that behaviour in me.)
I was holding a box of crayons, they were in a plastic box that you would send with a child to 1st grade or something. The crayons belonged to my nephew and I was supposed to take care of them and make sure they didn't get lost. Well, I set them down on the side of the bridge to make out with some guy, and they spilled. Then it started raining and the crayons started washing down the street into a sewer drain.
At this point I apparently passed out and woke up, alone, laying on some chaise lounge on the street. It wasn't raining anymore, but I had an umbrella with me. So I got up and started walking home. The wind suddenly picked up and kept pushing me back towards the bridge. But I leaned against the wind and just kept walking.
I heard a voice, which was very clearly in the dream God, telling me to go back and pick up the crayons. I scoffed, I mean I actually laughed out loud at Him, and advised God that they were just crayons. I could just go to the store and buy new ones, my nephew would never know the difference. The voice repeated, "Pick up the crayons." I repeated "NO".
Finally a gust of wind came and snapped the umbrella open. The wind grabbed the open umbrella, with me attached to it, and flung it back down the street to the bridge where the crayons had spilled.
The voice thundered, "PICK UP THE CRAYONS" and I immediately felt a heavy heavy weight on my shoulders that squeezed like a hand. It was pretty clear that it was God's hand.
I knelt down and began picking up the crayons.
I woke up abruptly. It was about 5 this morning and I sat up. I then heard a voice, very clearly, telling me that if I refuse to be obedient picking up the "crayons" than He will not give me opportunities to be obedient with larger things. The same voice then told me the parable of the talents .

This is messing me up today. I don't think that this is about money, I think it is about obedience in prayer and my intimate relationship with Christ. I asked Michelle to pray and press into me about my time in private prayer and worship of God, because while I do it I know that he is calling me to do it more regularly and intentionally. Not that I'm the end all be all of the everything, but there are issues that I see happening that I know are a direct result of my lack of face to the floor time with God and it kills me that it is my choice. I have heard him whispering this fact to me, I have been told this by other people, through sermons and random people on the street. Yet I argue, I advise God that it's not big deal and I'll just catch him later....we'll never notice the difference.
I don't want to leave this moment of tension I find myself in this morning. Because when/if I do I will rationalize and make excuses and just not do it. So my prayer this morning is to stay in the tension and continue to feel the heavy hand of God on my shoulders, squeezing and telling me to pick up the crayons.