We Are Waiting

I love TSO, love them. This is one of my favorite songs, Christmas Canon Rock.

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

The hope that he brings
The hope that he brings
The hope that he brings
The hope that he brings

This night
We pray
Our lives
Will show

This dream
He had
Each child
Still knows

We are waiting
We have not forgotten

On this night
On this night
On this very Christmas night

The season of Advent marks a season of hope, of preparation for Christ both as a child being born to the virgin Mary and a hope for his coming again. I've been thinking about that a lot this week. As I feel God's hand heavy on my heart, speaking to me and challenging me to step back and spend more time with him listening, talking, reading his word and worshiping him I've been thinking about waiting on God. Waiting on his call, his direction, his blessing. Many ways, through media and people directly to me and through Ben's sermons at church I've been hearing him clearly calling me away from my noisy, busy involvement in anything. He's calling me away from saying yes to so many things, that while good, compromise time that I desperately need to spend on my face in front of Him. It is not coincidental that this is happening at the same time I feel so pressured to stay busy, to run like a crazy person and to say yes to so much so I don't feel left out. I have some idea about what he's going to say, which is part of my reluctance to hear it. But I can't let it go on much longer. I've heard it before and have been fearful, hesitant. Because I know that listening to him is going to require me to step out boldly and that's just so far outside my comfort zone I can't even see it anymore.

So I wait. I wait on my King, my Father, my God.

It would be so much easier, simpler, clearer if there was an action that I could take. I'm very good at doing. But time and time again, the words drifting up in my hear are those of Psalm 37:7

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him
Psalm 37:7

So I wait.

What are you waiting for this advent season? What are you anticipating, hoping for, longing for? Are you waiting for an apology, for the "I love you too"? Are you waiting to be forgiven, for the right time to say you're sorry? Are you waiting to be kind, to go that extra mile, to encourage someone that you see struggling? Are you waiting for God to be real to you, for him to step down from heaven in a thunderous way and declare himself as real, living and moving? Christmas Eve six years ago was the first time God was real to me. During a service that played TSO and showed videos from Jesus movies. God drifted in quietly and shattered the pieces of me that weren't already broken and set about repairing the damage done throughout so many years of anger, grudges, abuse by myself and other. He set about removing the razors from my wrists and the hopelessness from my heart.
What are you waiting for?

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!
Psalm 27:14

But for you, O LORD, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
Psalm 38:15

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry
Psalm 40:1