I want to be beautiful

Some days like today, when I am tired and worn down, when I am busy and frustrated, I can feel him slithering around in my head.
Whispering things to me that I don't want to believe, but things that I have been told so long that I can hardly believe they are false.
Stupid
Idiot
Fat
Ugly
Worthless
Who do you think you are?
They couldn't really love you?
They couldn't possibly be interested?
No one cares about you
No one will ever think you're beautiful
No one will ever believe in you

All of these things hissed quietly in my ear, for no one else to hear but me.
How then to tell people of a voice in my head they can not hear without it coming across like I'm actually just crazy.
The flicker of his tongue in my mind, searching for a heart he so desperately wants to conquer. A heart that I am trying so desperately to keep whole and safe in the light.
The softer I live my life, the louder the voice is. The voice is hissing his way through the very core of my being, he is hoping that he is louder then the still small voice.


In the wind through my open windows, on the branches of trees I hear the gentle whisper of my King. He is telling me who I am because of his love for me, because of his spirit in me.
You are my daughter
You are loved
You are valued
You matter
You are worth it
You are smart
You are creative
I believe in you
I love you
I think you are a priceless woman

Which will I believe today? Which will strangers, customers on the phone, friends, family, neighbors, and kids tell me I am today? Do I have snakes in sheep's clothing around me? Who do I invest my heart in that calls me stupid, literally or figuratively? Why do I let them?
What truth will I stand on today?
What truth will you stand on?


Bethany Dillon "Beautiful"

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful