A joy that doesn't deny affliction

Joy: the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation

Affliction: a state of pain, distress, or grief; misery

I've been thinking a lot about joy and affliction lately. So color me surprised when I randomly selected a Mars Hill podcast to listen to at work today and that's what it's about.
Bell talks in this sermon about Paul, and speaks of how in Philippians he writes to the church about how he is glancing between wanting to just be gone, pull up stakes, and go home to be with Jesus, but he is held here by the love of his fellow believers.
Now not necessarily the idea of going to be with Jesus, but the idea of pulling up stakes whether physically or emotionally is something that I've been struggling with.

This idea that when it gets hard relationally I want to just cut and run. I pull in and away and stop intentionally reaching out to connect with other people.
This hurts people, I know. This can be selfish if pulling away lasts to long. (Understanding that there will be times to pull away for refreshing).

I feel like the church I grew up in there was a lot of "fining" going on. How are you today? Fine. How's the family? Fine. How's the marriage? Fine. It became the status quo, so that if you didn't keep up that facade of fine then people were aghast that you didn't have everything going fine.
It caused me for a very long time to think that people can't possibly function in a living breathing embodiment of Christ's church unless they were...fine, which translated into perfect.
I was no where close to perfect, I was a mess.

But I think the danger can be at the other end of the spectrum too. What if we fall so far apart that we begin to rely on pop culture psychology to ebb the flow from our wounds? Dr Phil, Oprah, even Jerry Springer. What if we begin to worship our woundedness?
I've met people, and so help me I've been that person, who when you speak to them you have to carve out time just to say hi because their wounds are so close to the surface all the time that they just can't contain it. That's how I've felt of late.
But like physical wounds, in order for them to heal, we have to clean them out and then let them heal. Picking away at them, nurturing the wound, discussing it until the mind numbing end...all these things don't allow it to heal. It just stokes the fire.
What if church becomes like AA or some other 12 step program? How much has it already become that?
We go to the church with the worship music that we like, with the pastor saying things that we like, with the people that we like. It's all just so comfortable and nice, it's all so.....fine.
We become incapable of feeding ourselves, and maturing ourselves as believers when isn't that what we should be doing? So that our time in church, our time in a body of believers is to act as a body and feed others?

Part of the reason that I like my church so much (cough www.4cornerschurch.com cough) is that while they have a style that is consistent, they embrace people where they are, they let them get comfortable, but they don't stay that way for long. They push you to grow, to take bold steps in your relationships with Jesus, and not to stay stagnant in your faith. At least on some level they challenge you to dive in and feed yourself by reading the bible and actively engaging in a prayer life. It may not be the only food you get, but it should be a significant portion (is it weird that I'm hungry now?).

I have a lot of reasons to feel afflicted. I could, and have, listed them out for many people over many years. But as I dig deeper into this relationship that I to often take for granted, I realize that there is so much joy in the face of that, and that joy...it is no longer denying that the affliction is there. It's showing me pathways out of it, it's showing me lessons to be learned in the affliction. The joy that I find in my relationship with Jesus is showing how God is using those afflictions to grow, to feed myself more consistently, and to begin to feed others.

Philippians 4:4-7
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your
gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about
anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present
your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.