Dequan loves Kyanna

Saturday before I went up north Peggy and I went down to The Outlet

http://www.citygospelmission.com/outlet.html

The Outlet is a place that people in the homeless community can come and hang out, play games and have a community that sees them.
I hadn't been down to CGM since Christmas Eve. I was sick a lot, and then on vacation, and then honestly...I just got out of the habit of getting up early and going down there. Each week I had good intentions, each week I snoozed my way through breakfast at CGM. But I went on Saturday with Peggy and I saw Joe.
Joe, who I talked about books with. Joe, who when I would miss a day here or there would miss me and ask if everything was ok. Joe, who sometimes says things that border on inappropriate but I know his intention is good.
I saw him across the room, and I sheepishly made my way over, knowing that I had to face the music of my lengthy unexplained absence.
I said hi, and he smiled ear to ear and gave me a humongous hug. Joe went on to explain that he was asking everyone he saw at the mission if they'd seen me, he said that he was very worried because it had been so long. I gave him my paltry excuses and he said, well this means you're coming back right? Will you be here on Monday? Of course I said yes.
So Monday, I got up and went to CGM. I saw Joe and he was SO excited to see me again. He came up to the counter after he set his stuff down he came up and motioned for me to come over. He whispered..."It's because you saw me Saturday that you're here today isn't it?"
I told him the truth, it absolutely was, and he floated back to his seat smiling all the way.
But back to Saturday...

Saturday I sat and played Rummy with Donna Finnegan. I don't a lot of her story, but I know she's 37 and had a mom that taught her to smoke cigarettes. She has a seizure disorder and 8 piercings. She is a kick ass rummy player.
I had a lot of fun, and can't wait to go back to The Outlet. Because of my over committing I can't go until 5/3, but I think bobbie is coming with me so that will be so much fun.
While I was playing with Donna, people came and went at our table. One of them was a deaf Vietnamese man that appeared to be hitting on everyone at the table, but I think he was just lonely. The other one was Kyanna. (pronounced like Cayenne pepper with an A)
She sat down in her HS letter jacket that I don't know if it was really hers. She opened the conversation by asking for some lotion. Her hands were so ashy and cracking from being so dry. I didn't have any, and I could sort of feel my heart breaking as thoughts of how many little things I take for granted everyday flipped through my head.
Later Kyanna gave another volunteer Brittany some art lessons. Brittany kept saying that she couldn't draw, and Kyanna encouraged her and said the we can do anything we set our minds to, we just have to keep trying.

I heard Kyanna say something later. I asked her to repeat herself because I didn't hear what it was. She said, "I'm so scared"
Kyanna is 18. She just left juvie. Before that she said she was in foster care. But now that she's 18, she's considered an adult and is on her own. She's scared because she doesn't know what to do, how to live. She's living at the Drop In center in Cincinnati. She had Lighthouse Children's services help her get a state id. But she loves to draw.
So she started drawing a picture while she was talking. I asked her what she was drawing and she replied, "My feelings". She said she had a counselor that taught her to draw her feelings if she didn't think she could express them appropriately. Kyanna said that after she draws for awhile she'll add her words, and then sometimes she's able to share those with others.
So I resumed my game with Donna and would occasionally look over at Kyanna to see what was happening with her art wise.
When she finally started using her words she wrote:
Dequan loves Kyanna 4life

It really struck me that in the midst of not knowing where her next meal was going to come from, not knowing where she was going to sleep at night...she still was just an 18 year old....with a crush on Dequan

So often I hear people making excuses for why they don't serve. Especially now with leading outreach. Life happens. Our schedules fill up. We're so comfortable in out warm beds and dry houses. It's inconvenient and unfun sometimes to get up at 5am. But to Joe and Kyanna, Donna, and all the other people out there who I don't know the names of....it helps them feel seen and counted as worthy.
Peggy talked to a man at The Outlet. She said that he told her all about college, he's a college graduate, he talked about his job with a local company. He was a productive and socially valuable member of generally accepted society.
But the company wasn't doing that well and needed to make cutbacks. This man's job was one of them. He wasn't married, his parents were dead, he had no siblings, and no community to fall back on. He was already living paycheck to paycheck. So when he couldn't make rent...he was evicted.
Where does he go then? The drop in shelter in Cincinnati. I don't know if I can't remember how long, or if he just didn't tell Peggy how long he's been homeless. But the fact remains, he's homeless.

I know that I can sit here, typing on my laptop in my cozy home and think, this can never happen to me. But it can. It happened to this man.
None of us are immune to this.
It's convenient to think that we are. It helps us to sleep at night to think that the homeless are there because of their stupidity, their mental illness, their drug or alcohol addiction. Those things can be and are true. But it's not always the case.
Sometimes....life gets in the way for them too. We all make bad financial decisions...(hello!) but does that mean that we no longer are worthy of community and love?

So next time you're out, if you can afford it (and it's highly likely that you can afford it) buy some coupons at McDonalds, Wendy's, or any readily available restaurant. Then when you see a homeless person, pull the gift certificate out of your purse or pocket and GIVE it to someone that needs that Big Mac more then you.
This way you don't have to worry they will use your money for crack or brew. This way, their stomach will be full and you will have helped make a piece of the world a little better.

But better still, if you have a few hours, or even a few minutes, invite them to come with you to a local restaurant/fast food joint and order them food and pay for it. Then sit with them, and just talk. See them. Go to your local shelter and feed them food that doesn't cost you anything but your time. Not only will you be doing something amazing for another person, chances are, you'll be humbled beyond belief at how blessed you really are.