So I accepted this volunteer outreach leader position at church.
I'm thrilled, exhilerated and slightly nauseous.
I see all these great leaders both in and out of church that I so want to be like, and I'm terrified that I can't.
Which should be ok, because shouldn't I want to be the leader that God is calling me to be and not the leader that God called them to be? If only I could explain that to my brain.
Ryan sent me some blogs and books to read on leadership, because I told him that I feel ill-equipped on how to be a leader and asked him for help.
One of them, waaaaaay back in the archives (because I obsessively read in chronological order when discovering new blogs) this was said:
"The mental image of a group that’s well led doesn’t have a clear and established leader. In fact, a person who identifies himself or herself as a leader, too openly, is viewed with suspicion and maybe even scorn."
I think that's where my issue lies. I feel like if I step up and say that I want to be a leader and want to be great at it that people will think that I'm "uppity" or aspiring to heights that aren't as humble as God thinks they should be. Worse still, what if there is a perceived agenda that is seen in my actions?
What if I become so crippled by these what if's that I never even get a chance to lead in any tangible way?
But I want this. Badly.
I want to learn how to lead, I want to learn to nurture vision in this outreach thing, seeing needs and then seeing crazy unique ways to fill them, ways that don't just fill the need, but that completely transform the people that help fill the need.
I want to learn to be more bold in my conversations with other people, with seeking out relationships that I can build into. I want to see the potential in other people and help them tap into a passion for serving in whatever capacity that means.
I want to be great at this. I don't want to just fill this space because someone should, I want to be in this space because I'm the one that can fill it the best and maxamize the potential of this outreach thing.
I have no idea how to do any of that.
But I will.
3 comments:
Don't worry about what other people think of you. If your intentions match the heart of God, you should not worry. Others will always have comments--good or bad--about you, and that is their problem, not yours. Give your best to your work, that is all that God asks of you. You can only be who God made YOU to be.
Try to look at the bigger picture. Does it matter more what people think of you in this role, or what good you can help your and others bring to the people that need it? Should they judge you? No. They will, and the only thing you can control is nothing. Do the good, and they will learn from the leader.
If it makes you more comfortable, don't think of yourself as a leader. Think of yourself as the "go-to gal". You're the one people will come to with questions, and the one that will have directions for people to follow.
People will be working with you because they're called to help in some way. They feel God tugging at their hearts to jump in and get to work. But they're not called to lead or start a ministry of their own (yet) so they don't always know what needs done where. That's where you come in.
Honestly, Bethany, any person that has read even a handful of your blogs, much less carried on a conversation with you, can see and feel the call that God has put on your life. Your walking in the direction he is pointing you. He will not let you down. He put your here for a reason.
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