Seriously blargh....
So in the completely uncomplicated and total common sense way that they do my student loans have been restructured. (please note the sarcasm)
They were restructured in June and I set about re-setting up automatic payments and making sure everything was taken care of and done. However I apparently missed a package of loans
1-1 through 1-6, most likely through my own carelessness....which I'll focus on alone away from here to spare you the agony of listening to me berate myself.
So instead of calling me, on the phone number that I've provided them at least 4 times, or sending me anything in the mail they decided to start calling my dad.....blargh
So dad called me and said he finally got some information from them after giving them my phone number and address several times.
Today I called them and received the worst customer service I've ever experienced.
I was told that I was impatient...no I'm not kidding.
I was told that I couldn't ask questions I had to say yes or no without clarification on one point that concerned me about the finances.
Then when everything was mostly sorted out I said yes I agree but I have another question (intending to ask her how I go about re-setting up payment when the forbearance process was over at the end of this month) and she said "Thank you for calling ******" click
Oh I could have screamed!
So I called back and got everything answered and settled and now I just have to wait until the end of the month to call and reestablish the payment for these other loans, which will be fine there's no problem making the payments.
I don't know about any of you but I find when there are financial issues that I'm dealing with, or crisis' that need handled I seem to feel such a deep seated shame in association with them. Like I'm not smart enough, or I don't make enough (noticing a pattern anyone?). My dad called me a flake about 10 years ago because of an admitedly stupid financial decision that I made, and in retrospect only made because of my gut instinct to place my head firmly in the sand when it comes to money. Somedays I feel like I still haven't recovered from that (probably) correct assesment of my financial management abilities.
Now, in what I don't personally consider to be a coincidence we're in the middle of a financial series at church. Called: Enough (hmmm, ironic?)
Here's a link http://www.4cornerschurch.com/messages/series/
Monday night I was praying, and I was talking to God about the message and finances and the sort and I asked him to kick me in the butt and help me to be more organized with my money, with my accounts, to curb the sometimes uncontrollable need to spend spend spend. I see a direct connect between that request, that plea to God, and my current situation.
The more recent sermon was on money myths...and not just the myths about money, but about the way we handle them...like everything will work out eventually (yeah, that's so me most of the time)
At the end of each sermon Ben gives us action steps that we can take. One of them this week was to get all of our information organized and in the same place. I'm pretty sure that's the one I'm taking because this is getting ridiculous.
I'm 28, almost 29. There is, and shouldn't be, anyone to clean up my damn messes when I make them (not if, because the way I handle money is on a wing and a prayer and it has got to stop).
Especially with trying to move towards buying a condo, it's just not cool anymore to be so flippant about my finances.
Oh, I have a budget, as any dutiful daughter of a finance guy would. But having a budget, and adhering to the budget are two totally different things.
I have no car payment.
I have no credit card debt.
There is no reason that this isn't working as well as it should/could be and it just has to stop.
So it stinks. I feel all vulnerable and exposed posting all this. But I am thanking and praising God for this uncomfortable conviction because maybe I'll grow up now. Maybe I'll become more accountible to myself and my future (oh and God...that's kind of important to me).
I loathe feeling like I'm going to fail so why even try, which is often the driving force behind my flakeyness (which is sooooo a word). I suppose the only person that can change that attitude is me huh? I suppose through prayer and submission to God and through transparancy with someone (at this point ANYONE would be more then what I currently do, and apparently I decided the whole of the internet community is first in line).
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