Lately I've been seeing things lingering on the edge of my perception. Sitting on my bed the other night I swear I saw something moving in my closet, but up towards the top of the doorway, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't Gertrude or Agnes.
Walking into work today I saw something reflecting in the water standing on the ground. I looked up and around and saw nothing.
Just out of sight are things that I can't comprehend, ways of thinking, acting, learning, leading, believing. The more I read, the more I experience the more there seems to be to know.
Sometimes when I'm in the thick of life, sure there is no way out or a feasible solution there appears on the edge of it hope. Hope found in the smile of a stranger, or a friend saying I have faith in you or an acquaintance saying I'll show you the way.
I feel so stuck in this relational face off. This stalemate of my stubbornness to allow anyone closer then an arms length. Have I settled so deeply into this pocket of protection that it should now be called my home?
Is it all a facade? Some sort of intricately constructed thought pattern of independence and solitude?
The feelings vacillate so often I've stopped keeping track. I think that's OK.
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