Used to Know

Driving down the road on an unseasonably warm winter day I hear snippets and melodies of what we used to be I feel chilled and pull on a coat of sadness and the scarf of shame thinking on how things have failed between us
I light a cigarette of anger and flick the violent ash of revenge and remorse out the window wondering what you are doing now

I feel I couldn't even begin to guess right
Because you're just someone I used to know

Telling light hearted stories I hear myself adjusting the tense of us from current to former
I play the tears of sorrow off as uncontrolled glee at the remembrance of our silliness, because it's been too long to still acceptably be so damn sorrowful over missing you

Churning like the snow that hasn't fallen this winter my heart flips back and forth between desperately wishing to have you back and feeling relief that the miles separating us match the miles apart our hearts have grown

I watch people passing me by in stores and find myself wondering what would happen should we meet again. I fear that you will simply treat me as a stranger. Measuring the kindness doled out to me against that you would give anyone else and pretending we were never more to each other than ships passing in the night

My heart still burns wishing I could return to that afternoon in the fading light. So scared and confused wondering how this person I loved so fiercely transformed into someone I used to know

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