Ok, the rule is to type for five minutes and post whatever vomits out of my fingertips. May God be with you all.
The other day I had lunch with a friend. After a seemingly benign question I started pouring out a bunch of things that had been discussed the previous night in therapy. I don't mind that I told him, but I just wasn't planning to tell him.
We bantered back and forth for awhile while I steadfastly avoided eye contact and fidgeted.
Then on the way back from lunch he cleared his throat and said, "You know...if uh....you ever need to talk about us or anything...if you uh think it would help, we can do that..."
I smiled and said, "I think I'll be ok, but thank you for the offer"
Because the offer is really all I needed. Just to be acknowledged and reached out to was enough. It made me smile the rest of the day that he would say something that I would have never expected him to say and make an offer I'm guessing he was nervous I'd actually take him up on, but being willing to make the offer nonetheless.
I've felt the loss of friendship a lot this week and have been fighting the anchor that keeps trying to wrap itself around my heart again. But in this single stammering sentence my heart was lifted and encouraged that even when I withdrawal and try to collapse inward there are still friends that will do hard things, reaching in to help me stand again.