I was sitting on my patio the other night. It was one of those perfect nights, just warm enough that you could sit there with a cold beer and not shiver and just cool enough that you weren't a sweaty gross mess.
The sun set in the front of the house and I watched as the world grew darker and quieter. The moon rose full and bright, I sat there sipping my beer and contemplating the thoughts rolling around in my head.
I felt so small.
It was one of those nights when everything is ok but you feel on the cusp of the next thing in your life. When you aren't sure exactly where the path you're stepping on is going to take you only that there is no other option but to step on the path that has presented itself to you.
I shrugged the world over my shoulders like I used to pull on sweatshirts and flannels of my dad's in the fall. It was large, this world I was shrugging over my shoulders.
My mind bent back and tried to insist that I continue to wallow in the muck and mire. It cooed my name from the pit of bitter angry girls.
The world felt much larger than one I was capable of living in.
But still I looked forward. Ignoring the doubts, the what if and maybe, I just kept turning my head, mind, and heart forward trying to believe.
Believe that He will not abandon me
Believe that He has a plan for me
Believe that He loves me perfectly
Believe that I can trust Him completely
Believe that even as a girl so small in a world so big that I am of consequence enough to have a purpose created just for me