9.21.2010

Hungry

I've been very hungry lately. But nothing sounds appetizing.
I hate when I get in food funks like that. You'd think it would be a good thing because I would eat less.
Yet I eat out of habit, because it's time to eat, not because I'm hungry.

My trainer yelled at me once because I wasn't eating enough. He said my body wouldn't burn the calories if it didn't have the energy to burn them.
I responded by telling him that I just wasn't hungry, so I wasn't eating.
He said that I should eat whether I'm hungry or not, which seems completely against everything I thought.

But he said that my body needs to re-learn how to use food as fuel. I eat to much of the wrong things and to little of the right things.

I've been hacking away at this melodramatic weightloss for over a year now and I still can't get it right.
It's still just such a reminder to me that all of these weight/food/body image things I'm working through are rooted in such deep emotional and physical cement.
I prune and prune back these branches and try to cleanse myself of these habits, thoughts and behaviors that got me to where I am now.

I need to spend more time hacking away at the roots, because the roots are just sprouting new branches as quickly as I'm hacking back the old.

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