I try to avoid the ick at all costs. The problem is, I'm surrounded by it.
Friendships that are disintegrating, relationships that are strained, money issues, leadership issues, work drama and the list goes on.
My old comfortable habit is to sweep the ick under the rug then stomp on it a few times so it's not lumpy. I worked hard at perfecting an air of "I don't care".
But it's just so icky sometimes.
My stomach hurts, my heart hurts, trying to shovel the ick under the carpets doesn't seem to work anymore but then I don't know what else to do.
So I read the email, I listen to her talk, I take deep breaths and try not to shovel the ick. I try to look at it, pray about it, process it and then reassess if there's a way to deal with it other then shoveling it under the carpet.
But still, I just feel icky about it; wishing people would just shape up and do the right thing, say the right thing, stop acting the way they do. I wish some people would understand why certain decisions were made before the email has to be sent, I wish other people didn't have to deal with someone that doesn't think at all.
I like to think that life was easier when I could avoid the ick, sweep it under the carpet and just look the other way. But it's not. The ick just shows up again and again, only when you've swept it so far under the carpet it tends to explode.