It's the breathing that's taking all this work

I do pretty well with the drama. Sifting through it, thinking through it and hashing it all out.
It stresses me out sometimes, but a lot of the time I'm really good in a crisis.
It's the everyday that drives me batty. It's the mundane, the paying of the bills, raking of the leaves, vacuuming, laundry, driving to and from work and making sure I have edible food in my house. I just lose focus, motivation and energy.

I'm working on that and I'm finding it way more challenging than I thought it would be. I'm finding that I'm loathe to ask for help to tell people I'm struggling. I feel like I'm making things way more melodramatic than I need to and that I'm digging my own pit that I'm languishing in.
It's a weird time. A lot of stuff swirling around in my head and my heart. God's been busy pulling back the curtains and shining light in the dusty hidden corners. I have no fear of drowning, it's the breathing that's taking all this work.

Just in case
I will leave my things packed
So I can run away
I cannot trust these voices
I don't have a line of prospects
That can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to
That can bring me sweet release
I have no fear of drowning
It's the breathing
That's taking all this work
-Jars of Clay Work

1 comment:

Pete said...

You have an amazing ability to actually listen to lyrics of a song, I can hear them and even sing them in many cases, but I don't actually "listen" to what it says.

You inspire me.