7.05.2008

I'm sorry if I missed your call

I've been having this dream lately. Not every night, not even every week. But I had it last night.

I'll be asleep, minding my own business and I will hear my name. I'll just hear a voice beckoning.

Bethany... Bethany... Bethany...
It starts as a whisper, and occasionally it will stay that way. Occasionally it will grow louder and louder until a bellowing voice is shouting my name.

I'll awake, with a start, and frantically look for the light switch and look all around the room. It really freaks me out.
I can't decide if I"m freaked out because I'm scared, or because I'm curious as to who it is that I'm being called by. Some nights it's a demanding call, some nights it's reassuring and soothing, some nights it's terrifying and I have a hard time going back to sleep for the restlessness it causes in my head.

What does it all mean? Do I even have to know what it means in order to move? Move forward, backwards, or sideways is beside the point I suppose.

Some would say that it's just my neurons firing before I settle into REM sleep. Others would say, and have said, that it's the call of God on my life (would that be the Spirit...hmm I don't know the logistics of all that), still others say it's just the sounds of the house, or the world settling and I hear that and misinterpret it as my name...since we're all so egocentric and all.
I don't really know what I would call it.

I had the dream last night, in a new house (I'm dog sitting), in a new environment. I heard the call and it was a beckoning call. Some of you would say it's the brew I imbibed last night, but I've had the dream sober and after drinking. I awoke this morning subdued, lonely, and curious about what it is exactly the dream means.

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