Crying: to utter inarticulate sounds, esp. of lamentation, grief, or suffering, usually with tears.
Art: the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance
Grieve: To cause to be sorrowful; distress, to mourn or sorrow for
I don't like to cry. I will do everything within my power and then some to keep myself from crying. At. All. Costs.
I have hidden in bathrooms, I have given myself severe headaches swallowing the tears, I have wounded myself to keep from crying.
I find it shameful, I find it weak and unacceptable to cry. Just for me mind you, if you cry, well....just let it out, it will all be OK.
But me, not me. Crying is a secret to be kept close to the chest, hidden away like a skeleton in the closet. I tell people quite often that I'm an emotional robot.
I don't know why. I don't recall being told any of these things, or shamed for crying. Nevertheless, it is my secret that I keep.
1 comment:
I used to feel much the same way as you. I had been told so many times not to cry, not to show my emotions/weaknesses, that I finally can't.
I can sometimes feel myself wanting to cry inside, but it doesn't come out.
Even more disturbing/disappointing is that I seldom feel now because of it. I know I should, and I can almost feel my heart turn inside out with the betrayal of my emotions.
If you turn it all off long enough, you won't be able to turn it back on.
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