I fail everyday.
I fail to be the woman that I hear God calling me to be. I fail to be the daughter that my parents would like me to be, the sister I could be, the aunt I could be, the leader I'm capable of being. Insert any label, and I will likely have failed in some way today, and everyday.
I fail.
But it's ok. Failure has become something to be feared, something stigmatized. Yet through my failures I learn patience, understanding, how to listen, how to love. If it weren't for those failures, how would I learn?
I had a conversation with someone that said they were personally insulted when they were given permission to fail. They come from a background that failure is the ultimate taboo, we are to avoid failure at all costs and if we fail we have disappointed and let down those that we hold most important to us.
I feel that way a lot. Like I must cover up my failures, which tempts me to lie or smudge the truth somehow.
I'm reading the blog of some people I "internet know" and they are being so public about some failures in their life. I find their transparency so encouraging.
I find the most edification in hearing from people that are struggling with their faith, with relationships, with life. Because it helps me see that this often overwhelming perception of perfection within the church isn't true, nor is it usefull.
So I fail. I learn. I get up. I move on.
The other thing that I think of is that without failure, without a falling of sorts from a perfect pedestal why do we need Jesus? Without a brokenness, without damage there is no need for the grace that comes to us through Jesus on the cross.
It's still hard for me to get through my head that the grace and love is unearnable, yet completely free.
I still strive for perfection, I still fall far short.
4 comments:
I don't know how you fail as a sister or an aunt. For a matter of fact, I don't know how you think you are failing on anything. Just because things are a struggle to get your point across somehow, or to stand up to a strong willed person doesn't mean you failed.
It's called perserverance.
xo
So could you like SERIOUSLY read this any sooner after I post it :)
I don't think it's failing because I struggle, I think it's failing because of how I feel called to be in those relationships and situations. Perserverance, I believe, rarely happens without failure.
Without failure of some sort we have no success or accomplishment. Without one we don't have the other, and what kind of world would that be? You couldn't strive to do better because there would be no better right? :)
Learning is a journey, as is following Jesus. We fall a lot following, but it only strengthens us as we get back up and put up a fight the next time.
It doesn't make it any easier each time we fail, or think that we fail, but as long as we keep these things in mind, we can keep moving forward.
Good blog!! :)
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
- Henry Ford
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