Food for Thought

So food. It is a wiley temptress....or something drippy like that.
I just inhaled a bag of Skittles. I wasn't hungry.
I just ate some Wendy's. I wasn't really hungry then either.
I ate a (read 3) Little Debbies last night...you guessed it, wasn't really hungry then either.
Gee, I wonder why I'm fat?
Now for those of you that love me I know you're going..."oh you look fine!"
Ok, so we'll go with I look fine. But that does not negate the fact that I am fat. Fat is not a curse word.
I find it relatively easy to be fat. It's easy to say the reason I am single, is because I'm fat. The reason people don't like me, is because I'm fat. Let's be honest, it tastes good to be fat. I mean, chocolate, grease, sweets, carbs, it's just yummy to be fat!
But I'm exhausted of being fat. Ironically my exhaustion keeps me from going to the gym, but that's a whole other point.
I eat all the time.
I eat when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm stressed, when I'm relaxed, when I'm celebrating, when I'm mourning, well you get the point.
I want to stop. I want to start listening to my body and eat only when I'm hungry. I want to eat things that are good for me, and the appropriate portion of it.
But I don't.
With all this outreach stuff coming up, I'll need to be in shape. I can't be panting and heaving for air when I'm trying to help people. I want to have more energy then I already have and I want to be able to physically exert myself for long periods of time in hot conditions in order to improve the immediate conditions of people.
So...we'll see how this goes. Maybe I'll fast. That kicked my butt into gear in many ways the last time...
I'm just tired of my pants pinching my stomach, and my stomach muffin topping over my pants and making my shirts look gross and ill fitting.
blargh.
Now...where did I put that kit kat again?