Ten Things: Reno Edition

The upstairs renovation is chugging along. Here's a list, because I can:

1. Taking off the base board was fun. I figured it out all on my own. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but it was for me.
2. Gertrude and Agnes are freaking out. I'm convinced they suspect we're moving again and they're defensively moving from place to place trying to hold down furniture so we don't have to move. That or they're afraid we're going to move into a hotel for a week again like when my hardwood floors were re-done. Either way, they're pretty pissy
3. Pete is a flippin Rockstar. He's done so much so well this entire renovation and I don't know how to tell him without it being annoying. 
4. The living room has been emptied in preparation for the drywall guys tomorrow, which means the Wii is in my room. Wiiiiiii indeed!
5. I really need to move my sofas and clean behind them waaaaaaay more often. There was enough cat hair back there to build 6 more cats
6. When we moved the stove we found 13 cat toys under it. 
7. When we moved the fridge we realized that there is a filter under it for the air system and it should be cleaned more often than once every almost 3 years. Yikes.
8. Breaking baseboard with my bare hands feet made me feel powerful. I was reveling in this new found power and immediately picked up an older piece that I couldn't break. booo
9. The pool was a smart purchase, it has been lovely through all this
10. T-minus 1 1/2 weeks until the kitchen has cabinets, but almost a month until it will have counter tops, sink and dishwasher. Like Pete said, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope it's not a train.

Ten Things: Weekend in Review

I feel like I had a jam packed weekend. Here are 10 things that happened

1. Met with the ladies that are transitioning into leading WP without me. Dreaming and giggling with some matter of fact leading sometimes sucks and is hard conversations
2. Returned the 1st pool because of missing pump (A: I almost wrote pimp which would have changed the entire context of that statement B: I bought a 2nd one the same day as the 1st and was just returning the 1st because it was useless). Had to explain to a flabbergasted customer at Big Lots that people without kids also like to swim. She just didn't get it
3. Bought 13 gift cards (for WP) to The Rave to give to some McDonald's employees by our church's old building. Used them to thank them for everything they do and invite them to The Rave where we currently meet. Broke The Rave's printers and almost punched a lady in the face who had no personal space common sense. But restrained because I find when buying gift cards to tell people that Jesus loves them you shouldn't also physically assault someone.
4. Spent 4 hours in the pool Saturday and have the sun burn to prove it.
5. Discovered that if you can get children to walk slowly in a circle around the inside/outer edge of the pool this will create a "whirlpool" effect that is quite pleasant when floating on a raft.
6. Painted the rest of my room, which took a ridiculous amount of time.
7. Ran out of paint and was super thankful that Home Depot was open until 10pm now
8. Spent 3 hours in the pool giggling and talking with Amber. We both fell off our rafts a ridiculous amount of times. Am now pink on both my front and back which makes everything quite painful.
9. Convinced Pete to use the moving men discs to move my dressers back into my room. He doesn't recall stubbornly refusing to use them when we moved the furniture out, but it doesn't matter because I do which means I can mock him for it.
10. Dusted, oiled and re-organized my dressers and changed my sheets. Put my drapes back up and plugged my TV back in. It's a real grown up bedroom again ladies and germs and I slept soundly (and fell asleep promptly) for the first time in a week. I also went to bed at 9. It. Was. Glorious.

10 Things: I Never Thought I'd Say

I'm dogsitting and have been for the last 10 days (and still have 3 days to go). I've uttered a lot of things I never thought I'd say. Most of them involved humping and butt functions. I apologize in advance.

1. There is a dead bird in the house!
2. Why are you peeing on my purse?!
3. Toby, quit humping your brother!
4. Sophie, quit humping the carpet
5. Cooper, stop biting your brothers neck. He'll go outside when he's good and ready
6. I herd you! I herd you!
7. I discovered the source of the mysterious poop smell. Unsurprisingly, it was poop.
8. Give me my bra back, Cooper. It's not a chew toy!
9. If you're going to fart could you not sit with your butt right by my mouth?
10. Guys! Brothers don't hump! C'mon!

10 Things: Dogsitting Edition

I started a 12 day dogsitting gig today. It was supposed to be 13 days but they were flying through Tokyo and there were apparently some water issues happening that delayed their flight.
It was a JAM PACKED first day of dogsitting. Here are 10 things that happened since 1pm today:

1. I came into the dogsitting house and realized that I didn't pack any pajama pants. I had to get groceries at Walmart anyway and this girl just can't turn down buying more cozy pj's
2. One of the dogs is a Shetland named Sophie, she likes to herd anything and everything. She kept trying to herd me around the house. It was awkward.
3. The owners ordered Girl Scout cookies and the Girl Scout came today to deliver the cookies and collect. When I opened the door Cooper, one of the dogs, ran out into the street, I ran after him in my new cozy pj's. There were a lot of neighbors around. Hellllllloooooo new neighborhood
4. The third dog Toby refuses to be in the same room as me. Whenever I enter a room he is in he gives me an indicting look and walks out. I have no idea how I'm going to get him into the kitchen to lock him and the others up for the day when I'm at work
5. I was letting Sophie and Cooper out into the backyard and Cooper apparently heard something and went bolting with 150% puppy energy out the door. He knocked Sophie over in the doorway and she fell down (just one step) and was stuck like a turtle on her back. She just flailed around yelping. When she finally right herself she ran to me and wouldn't leave me alone until I patted her down thoroughly to make sure she was ok...then she went and nipped Cooper on the hindquarters.
6. I took me approximately 30 gazillion hours to figure out how to work their TV. It's connected to surround sound and a million AV thingamajigs
7. Once I figured out the TV I collapsed on their super deep and cozy sectional and took the deepest nap. I am in love with this sofa, I want to marry it
8. When I first got here Cooper followed me around and kept trying to hold my hand lightly in his mouth. It made me miss Amy (my dog growing up) who would do the same thing.
9. Sophie has been glued to my side most of the day. She's so cuddly and sweet. The only exception to this is her noxious gas emissions. Take it to the other room!
10. But the craziest thing that happened today is this: The cat Snickers is allowed outside. He went out most of the afternoon. I was walking past the kitchen window and saw Snickers skulking through the flowerbed. As I walked back past the window from the fridge I saw the cat with A DEAD ROBIN RED BREAST IN HIS MOUTH. OHMYGOSH But it was fine because the cat was outside and the dead bird was not inside. However, several minutes later Sophie and Cooper were at the door wanting in. I opened the door cautiously to make sure Snickers didn't get in and damn if that cat didn't zip zip right in with that DEAD BIRD. I quick blocked off the kitchen area so he couldn't get the bird into other parts of the house and set about trying to get the cat and dead bird out from behind the sofa. The dogs were onto the fun and were barking and chasing the cat who was growling with his teeth clenched around that bird. The cat finally dropped its prize and ran out of the room. I scooted the dogs back outside and went to find the dead bird, eyes wide open, in the corner of the room. I grabbed some plastic bags to pick up the bird and tried to figure out who on earth was screaming at the top of her lungs, because it was distracting. (Then I realized it was me and I just couldn't stop). I kept leaning towards the carcass to pick it up but kept screaming and jumping back. I just couldn't control myself! Finally I went and got bbq tongs from the kitchen and picked it up with those, and even then I was screaming at the top of my lungs. After I got the carcass in the bag I had to pick up all the feathers that were shaken loose. So traumatizing. 

I'm hoping the animals have gotten it all out of their system and the rest of this gig will be relaxing and simple.
Also, I am being haunted by those wide open dead bird eyes.

10 Things: TV Edition

I cancelled our DirecTv service last week. Here are 10 things I have to say about that.

1. I was cable free for 5 years and then signed a 2 year contract for satellite. I have had a love/hate relationship with it the entire 2 years
2. I started trying to talk Pete into canceling satellite a few months ago. Because he was looking forward to tv in the basement finally and I wanted to be fair to him, but I also really wanted to go satellite/cable free again.
3. I got a Wii for Christmas, in case you haven't picked up on that. We can now stream Netflix through the Wii
4. I bought a new TV for the living room when the living room murdered my old one. It's HDMI capable so I can hook my computer right to it and watch Hulu for free.
5. Pete and I haven't watched live television in I can't remember how long (except for last Friday when we both looked at each other and wondered what we do now)
6. I have lost my last day to reality tv marathons
7. With conversion boxes and HD antennas I already have we can still see the local/network channels (ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, PBS) for free or a small up front cost of $40 (conversion box).
8. We have gone from $85 per month EVERY FREAKING MONTH to $8 for our live stream Netflix account. Holy breathing room in the budget batman.
9. I got a little choked up canceling it on the phone with DirecTv thinking about how inconvenient it might be to watch TV now. Because I'm basically lazy and don't want to have to get off the sofa every 40 minutes to choose another episode from my Hulu queue....
10. We're going from $85 per month to $8. It's a big enough relief to say twice.

So here's to making it less convenient to lose days to mindless TV and more time reading books and doing product things around the house!


I'm really hoping I don't have a post in a few months talking about how annoying it was without cable and that we re-signed. But I reserve the right to change my mind because I can and what are you going to do about it anyway? Huh? What? Yeah....that's what I thought.

10 Things: That Happened Last Weekend

1. I cleaned the litter boxes finally. Then as I was carrying the bag filled with aromatic cat feces through the garage the bag snagged on the door hardware....and spilled.....in a giant puddle. It was disgusting and I just pretty much threw the broom and dust pan away when I was done cleaning up cat feces for the 2nd time.
2. Pete and I were finally able to solve the overflowing liquor and cookbook cabinets dilemma of 2010. Ironically enough it just involved switching the two locations with each other and drinking a bit in the afternoon.
3. I put on makeup and went to a club with Pete and some work friends. Here are some things that were said in the course of the night:
1. What should I wear? I don't want to waste good boobs at a gay bar...
2. Shut the door we're practicing philanthropy
3. It's like a 5 course gay club
4. Do I have to show you EVERYTHING?
5. I get everything, but the breasts still really confuse me.
6. That guy takes every step as if it's on a runway
7. Don't lick my phone!
8. That one strap is working really hard right now
9. That is the most epic white fur coat worn by a man I've ever seen
10. Pete, you not only made an illegal left turn you did it on a RED light!
4. In pursuit of the bathrooms at the bar a young man told me to sit in the big cozy chair by him because it was a free city. I told him I had to pee and he probably didn't want me to pee in the chair no matter how free the city is.
5. I was taken aback by a Ce Ce Peniston marathon at the bar
6. Pop Up Video played at the bar for one Whitney Houston video. It was like giving a thimble of water to a dying woman in the desert of boring routine videos
7. I didn't have a drop to drink at the bar. When I was driving Pete's friend Delainna home I skidded on some slush on a downward hill and almost pee'd my pants a little.
8. After dropping off Delainna, Pete and I went in search of a Waffle House. After one crazy, crowded and super noisy one we found another that was much calmer. Super delicious breakfast at 3am.
9. I didn't fall asleep until 4am. I was remarkably awake. It was like 2001.
10. Made it up for 2nd service at church for an awesome sermon and then spent the afternoon lazing about on the sofa.

This weekend and I are besties. It was a lot of fun.

10 Things: About the Wii

1. It's embarrassing how much I play Mario
2. It's even more embarrassing how much I scream and shout when playing Mario
3. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and step back because my muscles are spasming from holding onto the Wii-mote to tightly. 
4. I freaking LOVE Netflix on Wii
5. I was nervous at first that I would constantly be seeing buffering or retrieving and it would be annoying. But it works so well.
6. I would cancel cable for it. I haven't been watching a lot of regular TV anyway but love being able to watch through shows without commercials
7. But I can't cancel cable because I have a roomie to consider...but that's ok. I'd probably miss it when it's gone
8. I watched Arrested Development for the first time through Netflix and now I can't stop laughing thinking about it. 
9. I just started watching The Tudors today and it's amazing. I might finish the 1st season if I'm not careful
10. I can't figure out how to download Wii points, but when I do I'm downloading Dr. Mario. When that happens, all hope for productivity (even the little there is left around here) will be gone forever.